Review: The Endless Autumn

The Endless Autumn

by Annabelle Knight

” Either way, it didn’t matter to her anymore, she felt a new lease of life burn inside her; a thirst for excitement swelled within as she contemplated all the possibilities that lay before her. “

To the outside world Autumn has everything: she’s a cheerful little blonde with a stud of a boyfriend (who, after pounding of the pavement as an aspiring actor, is now enjoying the fruits of his labor as a regular on a popular television series), she has a cushy job as an administrator with a successful agency while working for an understanding boss, she can lay claim to several loyal and fabulous friends, and she has the most supportive parents in the world.

Except, that’s all on the outside. If truth be told, it’s all a facade. On the inside, Autumn is insecure and left wanting. She harbors dreams of becoming a respected journalist but can’t seem to make her way steadily through the intricate and difficult coursework required. She can’t afford to jet off on expensive and exciting holidays like her best friend David, nor is she impressively put-together and full of the flawless beauty of her other friend and colleague, Rosa. Her job is actually a combination of frightfully boring afternoons peppered with staggeringly overwhelming tasks, and her boss is a bit strange. And her boyfriend, while seriously good looking, never seems to have any time for her.

She’s in a rut and it’s beginning to take its toll. She’s becoming snappy and surly, projecting her insecurities upon everyone around her and acting out in childish ways. If you look for something hard enough, you can almost always find it; so when she finds a text on her boyfriend’s mobile phone. . . a succinct “Are you alone?” that comes through at an unGodly hour from a private number, she immediately is put on the defensive. Surprised to find that she can’t see any other correspondence because it appears Ben has put a lock on his phone, Autumn lets her imagination get the better of her. Troubled and off-put, Autumn tries to find solace in her friends and her normally supportive parents, but she finds brick walls instead.

After further and insistent investigation, Autumn puts together evidence that points not only to Ben cheating on her, but also that his salacious and underhanded extracurricular activities involve one of her closest friends, Rosa. She can’t believe they’ve been carrying on behind her back, all while she’s been confiding in Rosa and asking for advice. So while Ben and her friend are meeting in what they believe to be secret, Autumn takes the opportunity to pack her bags and head to her parents house, seeking solace and sympathy — and putting a firm end to the chapter of her life that included Ben.

” She had mourned the loss of her romantic relationship and the loss of her friend. But as the people she loved most in the world rallied around her offering her the unconditional love and support, she began to realise that her world neither bean nor ended with Ben Wood or Rosa Dawson. Her world as it stood now was only just beginning. This prospect excited Autumn, albeit with a little apprehension. She could do anything and she could go anywhere. She realised with relish that she could be anything she wanted to be and in any capacity. She still wanted to be a writer, but why stop at women’s magazines? Why not the only women’s magazine she cared about, Wow magazine, wasn’t a complete pipe dream, was it? Maybe she’d get a job on The Edge and write Ben a lovely, painful, long-winded death. She had chuckled at this thought, liking the idea immediately but knowing that in her heart of hearts scriptwriting was not what she wanted to do. She was no longer restricted by the cosy little lifestyle she had created with Ben, or what that just an illusion as well?  “

It doesn’t take long for Sarah and Richard to begin tiring of their daughter’s mopey and increasingly self-destructive ways.  After she’s fired from her job and becomes seriously tight-lipped about how she’s now making monetary ends meet, Autumn’s parents become even more concerned. They are alarmed with the amount of alcohol Autumn is imbibing, her lack of interest in anyone but herself, and her strange predilection for bizarre catastrophes (including, but not limited to, the sketchy circumstances surrounding her ex-friend’s fall down a flight of stairs). What they don’t know is that while she’s been staying out all night and sleeping all day, Autumn has become wrapped up in a membership club that caters to the sexual fantasies of the nauseatingly rich and famous, and that Autumn is not only working for the owner, but she’s also participating as one of the delectable “courses” that the clients can bid on to fulfill their carnal desires.

But again, Autumn is dismayed to find that the glamorous position she’s taken may look appealing to outsiders but that the reality is, she’s being taken advantage of and is in a situation that seems impossible to get herself out of. To make matters worse, she discovers that she may have blown up her perfectly happy life and irreparably severed relationships for nothing, and she is sinking deeper and deeper into a hole she’s not quite sure she will ever find her way out of. Can Autumn figure out a way to reclaim her life and do it on terms that won’t force her to further compromise her integrity, or will she be stuck in this miserable situation forever?

The Endless Autumn is the debut novel from relationship and sex expert,  the Bardot-esque Annabelle Knight. The British blonde bombshell has certainly called upon her competence in the complicated arena of lovemaking, connections, and body language, and the result is a racy novel full of imaginative encounters and a brutally honest account of the evolution of one young woman’s life. The character of Autumn is written with a fair amount of relatable and honest flaws and the stumbles (and falls) she experiences while trying to navigate through life are cringeworthy —  but real. Knight portrayed a girl that most women can find on the inside of themselves if they are completely honest — someone who is insecure almost to a fault, someone who doesn’t recognize their own self-worth, and someone who has no real idea how to achieve their goals without leaning on someone else. Autumn truly must be brought down to rock bottom before she can begin to build herself up and she learns one of life’s greatest lessons — not all that glitters is gold.

Several publications have compared The Endless Autumn to 50 Shades of Grey but I have to disagree; Knight’s creative take on sexual writing is much more put together and advanced than that of Grey, and far steamier. However, The Endless Autumn lacks the relationship aspect that Grey is known for, as Autumn has no real connections with anyone outside of herself. But as this is at it’s core a mature “coming-of-age” story, it makes sense that the most important relationship should be between the main character and herself.

I give The Endless Autumn 3.5. out of 5 stars, and recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good transitional character. Readers should be advised that the sex portrayed in this novel is quite graphic, and because it does not begin until well into the second half of the book, readers might not be expecting it.

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