Kill All Happies
by Rachel Cohn
” If this party was a mess, it was my mess, and I had it under control.
Mostly under control.
Partly under control.
Not really at all under control. “
Victoria Navarro has just graduated high school and is looking for a way to make the moment count. With one of her best friends jetting off to spend a year doing humanitarian work in Africa, and her own impending departure to San Francisco (thus completely dismantling the trio of girlfriends that have dubbed themselves “The Cuddle Huddle”), Vic is anxious to create some long-lasting memories and blow out of town with a bang. And it is imperative that she have her best friends, Fletch and Slick, right by her side.
Rancho Soldado, her sleepy hometown located in the shadow of Las Vegas, is just as ready for a big blow-out as she is. Happies, their resident safe place and iconic, tourist claim-to-fame, is closing up shop under the black cloud of bankruptcy. Bev Happie is ready to leave her childhood behind her and at the tender age of 75, is set on moving to Florida to begin anew with money made from the sale. Happies has been an institution in the town since her toddler years and although she’s sad to see it end, Bev has no idea how to make things work anymore. Rancho is just far enough off the map that tourism has tapered off steadily enough over the years and hardly anyone comes through anymore – except the diehard Happies fans who are obsessed with the nostalgia that lives within the four walls of the restaurant and attached theme park.
When Bev finally gives in to Vic’s insistent begging, an idea is born. Vic is going to throw the biggest send-off party her town has ever seen; both for Happies and the graduating class. She will be able to say goodbye to life as she’s known it in style and maybe, just maybe, she’ll finally be able to hook up with the guy she’s had her eyes on for years.
” In a week, I was leaving Rancho Soldado, probably for good. In my eighteen years of living in this podunk desert nowhere, I hadn’t done a single thing for my town to remember me by, despite my many appearances at Town Council meetings with suggestions for improvements that Thrope made sure were never acted on.
That could all change tonight. We’d party like Thrope never existed. We’d pretend a version of Rancho Soldado could exist without her overlord tyranny.
Last Call at Happies, brought to you by Victoria Navarro, who will at least give her friends and classmates one final celebration to remember her by, and bring Annette Thrope’s senior class party at Happies nightmares to fruition one last time. “
Getting everything put together on short notice isn’t going to be easy, especially with Vic’s arch nemesis, Miss. Ann Thrope dogging her every step. Thrope has been looking for any opportunity to ruin her life for years and Vic just knows that if her old teacher gets wind of the party-of-the-century due to debut this weekend, all bets will be off. Fortunately for the Senior Class, Vic Navarro has never backed down from a chance to undermine her sworn enemy. Life is looking up.
But as the party begins, it’s just one problem after another:
- Jake, Vic’s love interest and Slick’s older brother, is in charge of the beer (courtesy of his broke-down car turned beer truck, christened The Chug Bug) but she can’t seem to get him alone. And everything has to be on the down-low because Slick has expressly forbid her best friend from touching her brother.
- Evergrace Everdell, the weird and annoying homeschooled kid who wasn’t invited, shows up anyway and starts causing trouble. She’s spouting off nonsense about Vic not knowing the truth about her best friends, and it’s making her uneasy.
- Zeke, the tall and emo brother to her crush, keeps following her around trying to be the voice of reason. Once he throws her cell phone into the night in an attempt to force her into having fun, she’s technologically crippled and becomes unable to find her friends in the growing crowd.
- And despite orders that the party be kept as secret as possible and no social media posts made, everyone has blasted the news that last call at Happies is happening now. The result is tons of Happies fans have descended upon the town and broken into the long since condemned and off-limits theme park in back of the old restaurant – breaking the one rule Bev gave to Vic in exchange for giving her a location for the party.
All hell has officially broken loose.
” Don’t throw a party just to impress a guy.
I should have heeded my sister’s advice. How could this night suck more? ”
Will Vic be able to find her friends and put some troubling rumors to rest? Will she finally be able to share more than a stolen kiss with the guy she’s been crushing on for years, without her best friend finding out? Will she be able to keep the party under control long enough that someone doesn’t inadvertently set the place on fire? Will she be able to host this evening of debauchery under Thrope’s nose and pull of the con of all cons?
And will she actually be able to say goodbye to Happies and Rancho Saldado for good?
Kill All Happies is the new book from Rachel Cohn, an author best known for her work on Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist and Gingerbread. She is a writer who celebrates a strong, female protagonist and Vic Navarro, star of Kill All Happies, is no exception. Cohn has a way of offering interesting and quirky characters that readers will enjoy getting to know. While Kill All Happies does indeed have several of these wonderful additions (Zeke, the punk-rocker with a heart of gold; Chester, the stoner older brother with a few surprises up his sleeve; Mayor Jerry, the resident hippie) I found that the antagonist, Miss. Ann Thrope, was sorely lacking. I would have loved for her to be a meatier villain with more depth – and I also would have enjoyed a stronger resolution between Vic and her mortal enemy. In fact, I would have preferred a stronger resolution for many things at the closing of the story. I was left wanting so much more.
Rating this book a 3.5 stars out of 5 is hard, because I did enjoy the story a lot. What I didn’t enjoy was what I felt to be an excessive use of profanity that in my opinion, dumbed the characters down. Not all teenagers feel the need to drop the F-bomb every other word just to get their points across, and I always find myself a bit annoyed when authors assume this. It’s as if they have in their head that this is how a teenager speaks, and so they elaborate upon that dialect. Another issue I had was while I appreciate a bit of reckless debauchery as a rite of passage for any kid in the middle of that awkward transition from older teenager to adult, I was a bit put off by the careless mentions of casual sex and hookups. I’m not an idiot, I know teenagers have sex, but I had a hard time believing that the majority of girls feel so unemotional about it. I think the author was using casual sex as a way to empower Vic and instead, it just made her appear a bit disconnected. Maybe I’m old and out of touch, but as the mother to a teenage daughter, it just seemed odd.
I loved – loved – loved the nostalgic feel of Happies and wish there was more background on the place that brought so many people – from all over the United States – together. It sounds like a place I would personally love to visit. Bev Happie was charming and a true staple in her community, which made it surprising that Rancho Saldado was okay with the place being closed down. But because Happies was so beloved, I had a hard time understanding how the devoted Happies fans would come into the old theme park and begin virtually destroying it via vandalism. It didn’t quite make sense and was out of place.
I recommend Kill All Happies to YA readers 16 and up, due to the language and sexual conversations. Please be advised that no actual sex is involved ( just talk of it, and is not graphic in nature).